Good day, Purposeful Hearts! Today’s post is begging you to take a break. That’s right, you deserve it, and the people around you will be blessed by your rejuvenated approach to life. It’s time for a deep breath!
While you indeed deserve a deep breath to restore your energy, today I’m talking about strategically using your deep breaths when you’re listening – whether it be to your boss, your employees, a friend, your significant other, or your child.
First of all, can we just acknowledge that listening well is HARD? It takes practice, feedback, learning, more practice, and an intense level of effort to be a good listener. Unfortunately, most people believe they are good listeners and deny the need for extra practice or effort (much like the average person believes he is good at multitasking, when the research shows that this simply isn’t true).
So, could your listening skills benefit from a boost? If so, let’s start with taking a deep breath – the kind of deep breath that allows for a pause, that reduces your stress, and relaxes you into being fully present for the person speaking to you.
This type of deep breath can help aspiring listeners combat some of the most dangerous listening pitfalls! For example, have you ever found yourself mentally rushing the speaker to finish what he or she is saying so that you can get on with your day? Listening requires a deep breath to internally step away from the pace of life and hold space for speakers to share their thoughts. Or have you found yourself triggered by something the speaker said and you’re mentally rehearsing what you’re going to say when he or she is finished? The deep breath serves as a reminder that you will indeed have a turn to respond when the speaker is done, but that your current responsibility is simply to listen. Mental rehearsals often mean you don’t even get the whole message because you were tuned out – and you can end up looking like an idiot for missing some important details that make your rehearsed comment irrelevant. Perhaps you enter into “fix-it” mode when you’re listening, and your listening efforts become problem-solving missions instead of opportunities for the speakers to vent; they might not be seeking your advice, after all! Take a breath and serve their needs. If they ask for advice, wonderful! If not, just give them your time and understanding.
Finally, the deep breath is so valuable when listening because extended, relaxed pauses often encourage speakers to keep sharing, sometimes beyond what they were originally intending to share. The pause offers them a chance to sit with you, to feel comfortable, to increase trust in you, and to find the courage to confide in you.
Let’s practice this skill today, Purposeful Hearts! Part of your purpose in life is to serve the people around you, and this type of intentional, patient listening is an awesome act of service!
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